I WANT MORE !

The “have-to-want” trajectory describes a familiar psychological pattern. A surge of happiness occurs when we acquire something new, whether it is a material possession, a promotion, or social recognition that typically is short-lived. Having acclimated to the novelty, individuals soon begin seeking the next source of satisfaction. This phenomenon is known as the hedonic treadmill, first articulated by Brickman and Campbell (1971), which posits that people return to a baseline level of happiness despite gains or losses.

In modern society, this cycle is intensified by consumerism and social comparison, leading individuals to equate happiness with surpassing others or obtaining material objects. Research has repeatedly confirmed that individuals adapt to improvements in income, material possessions, and even major life changes (Diener et al., 2006). Social comparison theory (Festinger, 1954) explains that people frequently evaluate themselves relative to others, leading them to want more in order to “catch up” or surpass those around them. The combination of rapid adaptation and constant comparison fuels the have-to-want trajectory: after obtaining one desired object, experience, or status, the person soon seeks the next. Contentment with having is short lived at best. The tendency causes us to ignore whatever good fortune we currently experience. And induces the stress of cyclical discontent. Aspiring influencers and merchandisers of all kinds continually strive to self-servingly accelerate our discontent and, therefore, the speed of our hedonic treadmill.

The hedonic treadmill metaphor suggests that happiness derived from external acquisitions is inherently temporary. For example, buying a new car or achieving a promotion may initially elevate mood, but over time, individuals adapt and return to their prior level of satisfaction and well-being. This adaptation underscores the futility of equating happiness with material gain. Instead, sustainable well-being requires a shift in focus from external acquisitions to internal fulfillment, genuineness, and enduring needs.

Psychology has long recognized basic, enduring fundamental human needs that, when met, contribute to lasting well-being. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (1943) remains one of the most influential frameworks: Physiological needs: Food, water, shelter, and rest are essential for survival. Without these, higher-order pursuits are impossible. Safety needs: Security, stability, and protection from harm allow individuals to function without constant fear. Belongingness and love needs: Relationships, community, and intimacy provide emotional support and reduce isolation. Esteem needs: Recognition, respect, and achievement foster confidence and self-worth. Self-actualization: The pursuit of personal growth, creativity, and authenticity leads to enduring fulfillment.

Two other approaches to needs also deserve mentioning. Virtually everyone needs to feel  competence, autonomy, and relatedness. According to Ryan & Deci’s (2000) self-determination theory, these comprise essential psychological nutrients that support intrinsic motivation and well-being They qualify as needs because individuals thrive when they feel capable, effective, and able to act volitionally. Similarly, Steger (2012) endorses the eudaimonic psychology idea that a sense of meaning is a core need that enables individuals to sustain motivation and life satisfaction. Lack of purpose is strongly associated with distress and poor mental health outcomes.

All the aforementioned qualify as true needs because they are universally required for human flourishing, unlike transient desires for status symbols or consumer goods. Meeting them contributes to demonstrable, long-term improvements in lifestyle and psychological functioning.

To cope with the cycle of wanting then, individuals must pause and evaluate whether a new desire truly aligns with genuine needs. To do so we might ask a series of questions. first, does this acquisition improve my life in a functional and enduring way? Second, will it contribute to my basic needs or long-term well-being? And finally, is it motivated by comparison with others, or by authentic, autonomously determined  necessity To cope with the have-to-want trajectory, individuals can pause before pursuing new desires and ask whether the desire satisfies—at least loosely—one of the basic needs described above. This reflective pause shifts decision-making away from impulsive wanting and toward intentional choice.

A desire that aligns with a basic need is more likely to offer enduring value. For example, investing in something that supports competence (such as learning materials or skill-building experiences) or social connection (such as meaningful shared activities) is more likely to contribute to long-term well-being than acquiring a novelty item driven by comparison.

Need-based reflection also helps individuals identify whether a desire will demonstrably improve life for an extended period rather than merely providing a temporary boost. The goal is not to eliminate wanting—an entirely natural human process—but to transform wanting into a tool for enhancing functional and emotional well-being.

Ideally, the chosen goal or acquisition becomes an enduring asset, one that strengthens autonomy, capability, health, relationships, or meaning. When individuals orient their choices toward needs rather than impulses, they reduce the churn of the hedonic treadmill, increase satisfaction with what they already have, and cultivate a more stable sense of contentment.

Nothing is wrong with wanting. Wanting is rooted in our animal nature. But knowing what you want, why you want, and controlling your wants is uniquely human. And one might say that wanting what is best for us is "divine."

References

Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995). The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation. Psychological Bulletin, 117(3), 497–529

Brickman, P., & Campbell, D. T. (1971). Hedonic relativism and planning the good society. In M. H. Appley (Ed.), Adaptation-level theory (pp. 287–302). Academic Press.

Diener, E., Lucas, R. E., & Scollon, C. N. (2006). Beyond the hedonic treadmill: Revising the adaptation theory of well-being. American Psychologist, 61(4), 305–314. 

Festinger, L. (1954). A theory of social comparison processes. Human Relations, 7(2), 117–140. 

Maslow, A. H. (1943). A theory of human motivation. Psychological Review, 50(4), 370–396. 

Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68–78.

Steger, M. F. (2012). Making meaning in life. Psychological Inquiry, 23(4), 381–385.