Many factors coalesce to determine your
health. We all know, and regularly hear,
for instance, that we should exercise, eat healthfully, and sleep
properly. Almost always, each of those
recommendations is presented singly or contained within a list. But, almost never, are those health practices
described in an integrated fashion, or are their inter-relationships
practically explicated. This post will provide one simplified example of that, and will
do so in the context of the American crisis du jour.
That latest crisis presently is being expressed in
the headlines across the nation that feature New York Attorney General Eric
Schneiderman. We don't yet know how much
is true, but the scandal has been of sufficient gravity for him abruptly to
have resigned his position. I very
briefly will relate what I know based on what has been reported by two teams:
Brian Mann/Rachel Martin and Jane
Mayer/Ronan Farrow. According to them,
Schneiderman has been accused of physically abusing four women with whom he had
had relationships. The accusations
included his slapping and becoming "sexually aggressive,"
"demeaning" and "threatening." One accuser, Manning Barish, recounted an occasion when Schneiderman "yanked" her across a street at which time she
protested that he was making her jaywalk.
She reminded Schneiderman that “Jaywalking is against the law,”
to which he allegedly replied,, “I am the law," referring to the fact that
he literally was the top law enforcer of the entire state of New York. Two supreme, tragic ironies of the situation:
First, according to Jane Mayer/Ronan Farrow, before Barish disclosed her own personal
accusations of abuse, she had advocated outspokenly for women who accused then
Democrat Minnesota senator Al Franken of sexual misconduct.
And, second, prior to the personal allegations against him, Schneiderman
had investigated sexual abuse allegations against the movie producer, Harvey
Weinstein,
So, what does this have to do with health? I believe, everything. The people with whom you associate exert a
tremendous "pull" on you. As Schneiderman,
they can, to your detriment, "yank" you across the metaphorical street in their
direction. Research suggests that you
tend to adopt behaviors relative to those with whom you relate. That includes your exercise, eating, and
sleeping, and other habits. The
relationship affect is especially strong between you and your intimates. Here is more validation of the motherly
admonition to "watch out whom you associate with."
The Me-Too movement exposed health
dangers sometimes associated with cross-gender relationships, particularly
threats involving sex and aggression. People
involved in destructive relationships are likely to have trouble with exercise,
eating, sleeping, and healthful behaviors in general. The Schneiderman case is important because it
underscores that highly intelligent and highly successful people are not immune
from health-destructive interpersonal relationships.
Do you believe for one minute that any of the four women and
Schneiderman, himself, have been behaving healthfully? Certainly not in a
mentally healthful way. And, as we all
know, poor mental health is another number one cause of poor physical
health. I doubt that any of them are
exercising, eating, or sleeping properly right now.
The benefits of some interpersonal relationships, and especially
of bogus intimacies, simply are not worth the price. If four women have challenged the sexual and
aggressive behaviors of the New York Attorney General, all women should be
cautious regarding their intimate relationships. Sometimes that caution can be a matter of
life or death, but it always is a matter of health or illness.
The bottom line is that all your relationships
critically affect your physical and mental health in virtually any or all
spheres. And no relationships are as
important than your intimate relationships. People want to improve their social
standing, regardless of whether they are low-, middle-, or upper-class. That usually means interacting closely, and
often dependently, with others who you believe can help enhance your
status. However, you need to decide at
what cost you seek that improvement. Corrosive
relationships might provide you a fleeting sense of improved status while
substantively impairing your health. As
we see today, women too often endure sickness-inducing cross-gender interactions
and abuse that have been a regular feature of society since antiquity.
References
Martin, R. &
Mann, B. (2018). Schneiderman
Allegations. NPR Morning Edition, Morning
News Brief, May 8, 4:59
A.M.
Mayer, J. & Farrow, R. (2018). Four Women Accuse New York’s Attorney General
of Physical Abuse. New Yorker, May
7. https://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/four-women-accuse-new-yorks-attorney-general-of-physical-abuse
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