Control Your Memory, Control Your Life

The primary purpose of memory is not to review the past. But to deal with your present and to anticipate your future. To understand these ideas, you first must be clear on what aspects of memory are being discussed. The major forms of memory are generally classified by duration and function into three core types: sensory memory (fleeting input), short-term/working memory (active processing for 15-30 seconds), and long-term memory (semi-permanent storage). Long-term memory further splits into explicit (conscious facts/events) and implicit (unconscious skills) forms. For purposes of this blog, we will limit ourselves to explicit memory, and how we can use it to further our well being.

If the purpose of explicit memory is not to nostalgically review the past but to navigate the present and anticipate the future, then the question becomes: How do we use memory well? The first step is recognizing that explicit memory is not a literal recording of events. It is a dynamic, reconstructive process shaped by attention, emotion, expectation, and context. Cognitive psychologists have long emphasized that memory is not reproductive—it does not play back the past like a video—but reconstructive, meaning that each act of remembering is also an act of interpretation (Schacter, 2012). What you call a “memory” is actually a present-moment construction built from fragments, inferences, and priors.

This has profound implications. If your memories are reconstructions, then your priors—your stored expectations about how the world has been working—are not always accurate. They may be distorted by selective attention, emotional salience, cultural narratives, or simple forgetting. Yet these priors are exactly what your brain uses to generate understandings about what is happening now and predictions about what is likely to happen next. Predictive processing models argue that perception itself is a negotiation between incoming sensory data and prior expectations (Clark, 2016). In other words, your past is always shaping your present, whether you realize it or not.

This is why controlling your memory—meaning, controlling how you use memory—is central to controlling your life. You cannot change the events of your past, but you can change how you interpret them, how you retrieve them, and how you allow them to influence your present situation and your predictions about the future. When you become aware that your priors may be unreliable, you gain the freedom to revise them. When you revise them, you change your interpretation of the present and the predictions your brain generates. And when you change your predictions, you change your behavior, your emotional responses, and ultimately your trajectory.

To make this practical, consider the role of memory in everyday decision-making. If you have a prior that “I always fail at new things,” that prior will shape your perception of present and future opportunities, your willingness to try, and your interpretation of ambiguous feedback. But if you examine that memory—really examine it—you may discover that it is based on a handful of selectively recalled events, reconstructed in a way that supports a negative narrative. By updating that prior with more accurate or more complete information, you change the prediction your brain generates about your future performance. This is not positive thinking; it is Bayesian updating applied to the self.

A useful way to operationalize this is to adopt a simplified version of the scientific method as a personal cognitive discipline. Treat your memories and priors as hypotheses, not facts. Test them against new evidence. Ask whether your current interpretation of a past event is the only plausible one, or simply the one that fits your existing narrative. Generate alternative explanations. Seek disconfirming evidence. And when the evidence warrants it, revise your priors. This approach aligns with research showing that deliberate, reflective retrieval can reshape memory traces and reduce the influence of cognitive distortions (Nader & Hardt, 2009).

The goal is not to erase the past but to use it wisely. When you treat memory as a tool for adaptive prediction rather than a museum of fixed artifacts, you reclaim agency. You become less governed by outdated priors and more responsive to the actual conditions of your present life. And in doing so, you create a more accurate, flexible, and empowering model of your future.

Whether  alone or with others, reminiscences distorted  in a positive direction often confers emotional and social benefits. However, in consequential situations, don’t blindly accept your recollections.  Memory can be your best friend or worst enemy. You must proactively work to maximize the former. 

                                                                      References

Clark, A. (2016). Surfing uncertainty: Prediction, action, and the embodied mind. Oxford University Press.

Nader, K., & Hardt, O. (2009). A single standard for memory: The case for reconsolidation. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 10(3), 224–234.

Schacter, D. L. (2012). Searching for memory: The brain, the mind, and the past. Basic Books.